DISAPPOINTED

I feel so disappointed now. All the plan that I've planned to go and do is just so imperfect. Everything went so bad and so not smoothly. He told me that tomorrow morning he will bring me for the breakfast but now there is no such thing anymore. He told me that he will come to my house tomorrow afternoon and now i could swear there will not happen. He told me this and that. But he just break the hope the he build for me. So break. Ugh.

 I could not say anything. Don't want to talk more or argue with him just because I'm on period and that looks like an idiot who would do that. I will learn how to control myself as well. I am not sleepy and I do not want to go to bed now :/ There's no one could talk to me now. Its almost midnight dude. I promise myself I would study hard and rest at home tomorrow for the coming stressful exam. All the best for me. I don't need your luck, thanks :) 

imma just bad luck woman. no why. 

F PERIOD

I am here for my blog bloggeriesss :p I got my period today D: hell well well * Its so much suffering from the period. How could this only happen on girls not boy not specific for those bitches or else ? Opps, I shouldn't be so much stubborn and sharp-tongued. HAHAHAHA ! So what so what ?

dont say a thing about this. Its cool right ?! HAHAHA

Please stop me away from the pain :( Just PLEASE :( 

He said why i still so active on Blog now cause he thought I deleted it last few months ago. And right after that I create another new one :D HAHAHA but i didn't tell him aswell. Why? Because I know he'll stop me from blogging :x 

Our school having 4 days holiday start from tomorrow :/ What kind of busy school ChungHua was? Heck * could you don't holiday that frequently? Such a procrastinating school ! :O whoah since when i being this devotion? anyway, i could rest on these few days! that's exaclty what i want to say * :p 

We exchange our meals today :) hehehehe :D But i couldn't woke up as that early as i planned ! :( I woke up at 538a.m!! mothafuckaa ! that's what REALLY late okay? :/ and i brought him soooo much things to eat. But at the end i finished it all :oooo *what a pig * He made me a burger ! YAY ! :DDD ♥ 

Here it is :))

HAHAHA :D ♥ Looks nice right right right ? :)) I filled mt tommy with that deliciousss burger, darling :) I love you ♥ muahss ! 

I had planned watch a Korean Drama after my Mid Semester exam :) 原来是美男 Oh my gowdddd the man inside is so fucking hot ! they are the blinking stars of Korea ! love love love 'em! Check this !! 

AHH I LOVE HIM !

jeremy ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

SO HOT SO HOT ! ♥ ♥ 

ps. I love zm more than them of course ♥ :)  

T I R E D

im so tired for busying all day long even I have no idea what am i picking myself for being such a busy body. i just realized the i cant catch up all the subject for this coming exam :/ hell well * why the hell i cant open up Twitter as well ? :O something is fixed on it or what ? -- i need twitter !! ngehhh :/ so this morning i found something sweet of my Happi darling <3 love it ! :D

He's relaxing himself under the big hot sun :D kisses kisses * 

The flowers of starfruit trees that I found on my addmaths teacher's neighbour houses :) 

I found this too . :) 

First time, i can be so moody.

First time, i know i really down.

First time, i know how important u are.

First time, i lost myself.

Not the first time, i cried.

Not the first time, i smile because of you.

But the last time, i put u in my heart.

Hopes something like this will not repeat again.

Not to happen..and never want.

I don't want any apologizes.

Even from myself.

Transparent tears, colourless.

If there is colour tear in me, it will be red.

Because it is my blood tears.

Which cause of you.

Thanks for everything.

Thanks that i see through anything from you.

And thanks i finally know what is inside my heart. :)

Nice, isn't ? :) 

Just had a call with my love one. He sounds so tired :( So he might be in his sweet dream now while I'm still blogging here :/ Anyway, imissyou darling :( iloveyou ♥  Kinda late now. Am I turning into a panda cause' i have a serious eye bag? Or i'm turning into night cat? :/ whatever i shall get to sleep now :) Night bloggeries.

She made my day ♥

Good morning bloggeries :) Its only 1002 a.m now and I randomly shot a post here to burnt my boredom. heeh x) I just had Skype with my baybiii Natalia ♥ Love her so much ! Each and every time when I talk to her, I feels great and warm :) we cant always talk too often cause we both were school and the distance of time took us apart :(( I miss her a lot ! HB HB HB :DD hehehehe *

here she is ♥ 

 well, we keep on talking about the flights to London just now. Fuck the hell * The flight could cost me a heaven ! D: There're all on thousands ! Sounds so scary and took my breathe off :x So i decided to save each cent from now on just to go there and having much more fun and of course meet her up ♥ i was so touched when she said she will buy me the ticket if she could affort it :/ wel bii, thanks a lot :) The only thing is I hope my parents could allowed me to go over there ;( that's the biggest deal i wanted to make with 'em. hell * 

I couldn't wait for a seconds for the promotion of flights to London ! Please inform me if you saw a cheaper cheapest whatever flight to london ! :D I will love you so hard ! :pp hehehehe * 

ugh, starving :( I'll be hunt for the foods soon ! Emm nope soon , NOW * hahahhaha ! 

daaa ~ :) 

Love This Feeling

hello willy billy ! :) How ya having your day today ? Is it sweet or is it shit ? :D ngehehe Obviously I'm back to my crazy mood now cause' we're back to the time we used to be ;) I love him ♥

I woke up earlier and made him fried noodles and I wrote a card for him. It is a sorry card :( I spend all night doing it! dangg * Its okay actually, anything to bring us back to sweet I'll take any things, never takes granted darling :) So we're fine now ! hehehehe x) feel so much better with him and everything is so okay and nice ♥

Well, our school going to be the master of the MSSM which is the sport and academic competition among the school in Miri states. Of course he took part in the competition :) I wish I could support him on every his competition, i'll go no matter how (: heeeh. He turns black too ! * :p 

Another thing from me is the ticket to Kuala Lumpur now is so fucking cheap ! :( And each, ALL of my friend are planning to go there after our biggest headache SPM finish. :( I wish I can join them but my mother strictly say NO to me ! :( sigh * She's so worry about me. Maybe it's because of my crazy behavier all the time ? :/ But i really want to go there mommy :( Anyway, i will buy the ticket HAHAHAHA ! :DD 

I AM 17 MOM, NOT 7 !  

Here's the problem. Who shall I follow ? :( Vanessa or Joanna ? It's so confusing man URGH I not really know the gang of Jacky or Ricky 'em :( And there are only four girls including me if i'm going with them. Joanna and Cj will going to Sg !! And they are lesser people and i think that will be more fun ? :/ Which side should i go ? Give me an answer or opinion peeps :( Or I'll be going with nessa then meet up with jj ? :x 

I feel the pain in my head now. oh the hell well * and i'll be going to tuition for 4 hours Chemistry :( god sakeee ! someone could pull me a hand because i'm fall into it. dangg * Here to stop guys. 

I miss you, love ♥ Never end :) 

 

WAR

Feel down today. Nothing else to say about us. Can we settle this down immediately ? What we really need is only time. I know you're something hiding behind me but you didn't tell me. Don't bare it inside your heart, who am i for you? How could you say there's no one could listen to you anymore. I'm always here for you. But you never realize that what i'm thinking about. You say you'll look after your manners but how? Darling, you might facing lots of stress or something now. But COULD YOU SHARE WITH ME ? Could you ? How many times should I repeat that I'll be here for you. I'm not ignoring you or something but I don't really think that its the time to face you now. You just don't know. 

You survived. Cause' you didn't hit me for two days since Monday * I couldn't think anything properly now, you know ? NO* I was keep waiting for you, do you know that ? NO * Do you know I always here for you? NO * Do you know that I still love you ? sigh * 

Please hit me if you see this, if you don't. I have nothing else to say. 

I'll wait for you. Loves.

Never forget that I STILL LOVE YOU .

IGNORING

Here I come again bloggeries. Today is another boring tired moody day for me :/ Why should I has this feeling ? I don't know. Perhaps there were too many things waiting for me to complete it before the examination hit me hardly. I didn't saw him today. Actually just one eye sight * 

 

 We still on the war, the cruel and cold war. As I said, I'm so tired of all the quarrels all the time. I ain't your punching bag, not the bag you could throw it everywhere, smash it how hard or anything else. I talk with you like usual but did you realize how was you attitude ? No you don't know. You just know how to spread your anger at me purposely anytime you want to. I am really tired of this. Just give me some time to break, to really think about our future. There's nothing funny about our future aye, Im serious with it but can you be mature and control your manners instead of quarrel with me all the time. I do not want you or me to stay in this situation for more than any seconds. You remembered how hurt how deep the scar you left for me ? You live happily even without my exist, i knew it because i saw it. Yes, I saw you but you didn't. I won't be interrupting you when the time you don't need me. 

I am cool alone. You don't even find me no more. Between this time, I had think a lot. I don't really shout out my feelings to others. Now not even one. Great * 

So, are we cool ? 

 What ever. You don't give a damn to me i know. 

Title

Title? actually i was nothing to blog about today. just come here improperly :/ Its the corner to my Mid semester examination on 8th March which is two weeks from now. I have nothing to do with my exam. Totally nothing but all about stress and tired. 

Start to fed up again. Why "she" treat me that way instead of treat them far away better than me. Is she just love aside ? I know i'm not perfect as them but i wish you don't treat me with this way. Those words you said to him was hurt me a lot but you don't count on it, and you don't give a shit, right ? You just love them more than me. I knew it. There's no one could listen to me, talking with me, share with me. :( I don't know is this the thing that i'm going to share with anyone. I'll buried it six feet under the ground. 

First Anniversary ♥

18th of February ♥ today is the first year anniversary of us, me and my darling :) Its cool when I think about the last year at this moment we're just coupled and now we're getting older and older. hahaha :D BUT i will love you still ♥ He cried so bad last night, yesterday. :( I was thought he won't give a damn but no, im wrong ! he did give a damn and the very the damn :( im so sorry for hurting and quarrel and saying about those issues between us on these moment. Im sorry my love, forgive me. 

I was nearly felt asleep on last night. I felt so much sleepy and I cant stand my eyes from falling all the time :( There's nothing special on our anniversary day he said. I was on the same way with him. hmm :o It just a day we had been together :) ♥ 

He suprise me with a Casio watch this morning when I reach my class ! There was a box there and when I opened it I was so happy and excited ! :D hehehe. Because the box is kind of heavy :o I like the watch so much so much ! Like soooooo much ! :p YOU KNOW ?! Thanks to your my love ♥ I know we're still in love with each other as we used to (: 

So its a simple and nice day spent with him :) I love this kind of feeling again. hehehe x) Normal and lovely for me :) Oh well, we'll going out to celebrate it tomorrow night since i went to my Chemistry tuition just now. :( sigh *

 The class is squzeed by stress and theory. What kind of theory is that ?! Lots to know and understanding and applying blah blah blah :x Its okay, i'll fight for my Spm as well. :) So night bloogeries :) Have a nice day ! (: 

Do the best. Try your best. Beat the rest. :) 

HEART BREAK

what is going on with us ? with me ? what is going on, so wrong ? we start quarrel and complaining each other since last Saturday. Did you notice it ? I don't think you're. You scolded me in front of my friend, your friends. Do you think its cool for you ? You didn't realize I'm tearing my face and feel like jumping into the sea right immediately. It's cool for you, but shame on me.


I love you so much. And I really do but now I have nothing to say about. Fed up of quarrel and all those thing. Yeah, you're right when you say take a break. Tomorrow is our couple one year anniversary. I wish it'll be better. 

Leaving Day

I'm awake now in the early morning , its 8 a.m only now :) Feels great with the fresh air and the sun falls on me. Why i didn't wake up in the early morning like this during the weekend ? I missed the sun and the air :( I will sleep earlier next time ! x) 

She's leaving today , 11 a.m flight. :( I knew it through her boyfie. Pity him cause i keep ask him that is she there ? where is she ? when is she leaving ? blah blah blah :o just back from her house just now :) i didn't feel like crying when i saw her but my heartbeat is seriously doob-doob doob-doob * Oh my geee :x 

I pass her the card that i made for her :) i hope she will like it anyway. I cried for her two days ago , I don't wish i cry in front of her. so i just control myself. :( we hug for few times . i miss her . i miss her . i miss her . YES ! I MISS YOU , QIQI ! :( you're not leaving yet but i start to miss you now ! :( i'm really really sorry for that  day :( take good care of urself there my dearest friend ♥

:) im currently listening to some songs. they are Chris Brown's Yeah3x and Jessie's Price Tag  . the songs are awesome ! get a try on 'em uh bloggies :) tonight will going out with babes and my love ♥ hopefully it will be a fun night for us ! 

daa * ;)  

FML

i cried. yes , i cried. feel so bad. i quarrel with her again just now. what the hell wrong is happen with us ? can you tell me ? can someone tell me ? someone ? anyone ?

i feel terrible. i am sick and skip the school today. and now i am quarrel with my friend. the friend that i think she's the best friend of me. but actually i'm not. she does not want to speak with me or see me anymore i think. but the fact is , she's leaving and do we still have to stay like this ? NO of course ! 

She hurt me. Yes, she did. This was the first time I saw her being this mad and scolded me. I hope she accept my apologized , frankly. i don't want to talk so much. run *

The 4th Day Of CNY

yehh i'm here again. here to tell say that i'm going to sleep soon and leave here a foot prints before i go to my lovely smelly bed :) Tomorrow is the 5th day of Chinese New Year but we have to go to school tomorrow and study like usual :( How pity , right ?! Yes , i know ! My parents straightly superly veryly want me to go to school by tomorrow and no escape of classes ! :( hmmmmm. 

Well , i went to house visiting with my friends today :) i thought i've plan nicely but actually i dint :( but at last i still need to thanks ahyung hilda rongyaw woxien sunxien joanna vanessa fanny jiadi ahhao and my love for sure :) <3 they gave me a lot of nice memories today ! :) i love 'em ! ♥ 

okay then. sleep well peeps. i dunno what is peeps actually * :/ hehehehehehe :D 

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR

GONG XI FA CHAI !

 Yes , today is the first day of Chinese New Year. Did you get yourself high today ? :p hehehe. I did  and its a lot of exhausted. Oh mann. Went to Bekenu at 9a.m. and back at 1p.m D: There were so many people at my house on the afternoon. Yehh, so crowed ! But I like it ♥ there were the noises the crowed the laughters ;) 

Of course I got the angpaos from every relatives and friends of my daddy mommy :) But the money is decreasing every year and it was not really satisfy me ! :o ps i'm not that greedy but its the truth * :D don't you think so ? hehehe . 

Having a lotssssss of fun tonight with all my friends :) they all dressed gorgeous , smart and they looks beautiful :) camwhore everywhere but i don't really keep the photos in mahh phone because my phone so lousy one. HAHAHA. It turns so lag when the moment I want it to be fast and fast ! :o

I miss him so much :( Everyone was asking me where is him where is him when will he come back here. My answers is ooh , he went to Marudi for celebrating his new year. Hmm I dunno when will he come back eh . I shame on myself :( I don't even know when will he come back here :( SO FAILED  :( and he din't feel that much happy of me because he was waiting for me. Ugh please , I'm tired too. I can't always comfort you , my love. I hope he won't be angry if he knew I took photo with boyss ;( I LOVE YOU ♥ I always do ! 

 I forgot to take photos with penny and joanne em :( ugh ! So forgetful ! Anyway , I got a few photos here :) love 'em ! 

lovely cactus :) i named it kiki :D 

the first day of cny :) going back to my homekampung :p 

with silly chaijie ♥ she looks so funnyyy ! HAHAHA

HAHAHA ! 

With babe Hilda :)) 

took this from vanessa babe ♥ 

Would she scold me for this ? HAHAHA 

Mahh lovely nails ! Pinky leopard with blue dots inside x) [ before ] 

after it ! :( my poor nails !

HAHAHA . i need to get some sleep now. Ugh it tooks me so much time to upload these photos D:

 HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR !